That’s how long I have been strict AIP now. 23 days! I’m super proud of myself. Also, Mickey Trescott’s book, the Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook is the best. I have been cooking out of it for weeks. I am not sick of anything from it. I follow her meal plan. Whatever I don’t like that is listed, I substitute. Her book is beautiful and everything is so delicious. Tonight I am making cranberry braised short ribs with cauliflower rice. YUMMY! I have never had short ribs before. The meat has already fallen off the bone and it’s not even dinner time yet!
I’ve been back in the gym consistently. I started following Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 program. I am on the last week of my first cycle and I have to say that it is going really great. I quit going to crossfit because I didn’t like watching other people’s kids. I dreaded it every time. If I could just afford a membership, that would be different but I got it for free for doing child watch. I just couldn’t do it. Plus, I went into a downward spiral of depression and I needed to get my life back on track. That took a long time.
I’m good now though, I think anyways. I’ve learned a lot about myself here lately. I started going to counseling again. Trying to work through some issues I’ve had for a couple of years now as well as whatever pops up on the day to day. I also started going to Overeater’s Anonymous meetings last week. Don’t have too much to comment on that right now except that I am going to stick with it for a while. The only thing I do not like is having to say, “Hi, I’m Kara and I am a compulsive eater and food addict,” before I say ANYTHING. I don’t like identifying myself like that. That isn’t who I am, it’s just a problem I have. I know addiction is a disease but that doesn’t define me as a human being. They say that we are never truly cured and I can believe that but at the same time, if people identify themselves with that and only that, it’s a recipe for disaster. I do think the 12 steps will be helpful. I got some books to read and a workbook to work through the steps. I have another meeting tonight. The great thing is is that I am not doing it alone. I have 2 friends that are going as well. We are all at various stages of our journey. Luckily for me, I started getting my head right and talking to God more before going to the meetings. I feel like I’m ahead in the journey a little bit. I’m getting my life back together and I am not having to go back and forth between guilt and regret anymore. I think I have truly surrendered this battle to God and he is taking care of me. Like he always said he would. I feel different this time. That’s why I think I have truly surrendered. I know it’s been a little over 3 weeks but that is HUGE for me. The last time I went that long was 2012. Almost two whole years ago. This time, it’s just easier. I haven’t been worrying about it. I know when I am craving things that I shouldn’t eat that I can rely on God’s truth to fight the temptation and come out victorious. I know how cliche and cheesy that sounds. I hate it when people say things like that to me but it’s true. And it’s working. I recite my go to verse in my head over and over again and it help calms me. “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial” 1 Corinthians 6:12. The foods I crave will just make me sick. I know that. I am not going to be stuck in this vicious cycle anymore.